24th
The Greatest Book Ever Written
Contrary to popular belief the greatest book ever written is not The Secret or something by Dan Brown (although those are excellent!) it is in fact the novel “The Darkest Evening of the Year” written by the tyrant of terror, the master of macabre, the head honcho of horror himself Dr. Dean Reginald Pine Koontz, or simply Dean Koontz as he’s known to his trillions of fans across North America and parts of Europe. 
That terrifying image of a dog’s silhouette is what first drew me to this book, what possible horrors could that pooch be up to in the pages within? Has he gone rabid and is out to kill anything in his path? Has a mutagen got into his system and begun to mutate him into some hideous monster? Is it Shadow from Homeward Bound 2: Lost in San Francisco out for revenge after his career has gone nowhere since that film? I needed some answers so I checked the back of the book to read some critics blurbs and instantly, all of my questions about this gripping novel were answered by one simple sentence from a highly credible magazine:
“Silence of the Lambs meets Marley & Me.”
- People
After reading that blurb, the greatest blurb ever written by a human printed on what has to be greatest novel ever produced by someone not Dan Brown, I simply put the book down and walked away. I didn’t even need to read the book itself to know how brilliant it was, any piece of literature that can draw comparisons to both Silence of the Lambs and Marley & Me is just too…perfect. Reading it would reveal text so rich and deep that it would make it impossible for the reader to enjoy any other written work ever again. J.D. Salinger could release one last book, a masterpiece, and your only thought would be “Well, this is ok, but it’s not Silence of the Lambs meets Marley & Me.”
Did I make the right choice? Could the book really be so awe-inducingly amazing that it would ruin your life just by reading it? Well, after reading these Publishers Weekly comments on it, the answer is obviously yes. This book is too good to be true and reading it would be the equivalent of staring at the opening of the Ark of the Covenant.
“Set mostly in Southern California, this topnotch thriller from bestseller Koontz (The Good Guy) depicts with unabashed emotion and wit the magical powers of golden retrievers—in particular, a female named Nickie, who will stop at nothing to save innocent children and protect their guardians. Amy Redwing, the survivor of a horrifying marriage, establishes Golden Heart to rescue golden retrievers, rehabilitate the abused ones and find forever homes. A supernatural chain of events ensues after Amy and her architect boyfriend, Brian McCarthy, rescue Nickie during a violent intervention in a family dispute. Soon the pair are on a mission that leads to a transformative confrontation with a number of ugly characters—Gunther Schloss, a frustrated aspiring novelist turned killer-for-hire; Moonglow, a psychobitch in the Mommie Dearest league; and Moonglow’s lover, Harrow, a self-obsessed sicko. This is the perfect book for thriller addicts who know the darkest hour is just before dawn and for canine lovers who remember dog spelled backwards is god.”
- Publishers Weekly
Magical golden retrievers…psychobitches…someone named Gunther Schloss…too much awesome for one paragraph, I’m tripping out!!!
